Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Leaving the house

Some days leaving the house are easier than others.  And some days, its not so much leaving the house as it is staying away from the house. 

I go to a mom group on Monday nights and I always look forward to it.  I've finally learned that I need to start getting ready to leave at 6:05 since the group starts at 6:30.  Mind you, it only takes about 5 minutes to get there.  Anyway, last night I arrived 5 minutes early (which I love!) and I was certain this would be an easy outing.  I'd fed Grace not long before we left and she seemed in good spirits. 

We got out of the car and I stuck her in the sling.  She often will crash out if I'm patting her butt rhythmically.  Instead, she got a little fussy so I took her out and stuck her on my lap.  We did peekaboo as I stayed engaged in the conversation.  I changed her diaper.  I bounced and patted.  I drank my coffee.  Then, she got grumpy... loud and grumpy. 

Now I understand that the moms are used to crying babies and I wholeheartedly appreciate that.  But I just feel more comfy heading to another room if Grace gets downright mad.  And mad she was.  I tried to nurse - no go.  I tried to swaddle & shush - not a chance.  I swirled around in circles - I think it distracted her but it eventually made me uber dizzy.  She started at it again.  I bee-lined for the restroom thinking I might have some luck with the exhaust fan.  The fan, however, was about as loud as a vibrating cell phone.  Sheesh.  We relocated to little spare bedroom across the hall from the restroom.  I tried all of the above tactics yet again in desperation.  Then, I faked a diaper change.  Grace began smiling and put her little happy face on.  Unfortunately, it vanished once play diaper change was over and red faced crying ensued.  I tried the trick again.  No luck this time. 

Eventually and after about 45 minutes of drama, I just cut my losses.  I propped screaming baby up on my shoulder, put on my "I know my baby is crying, see if you can calm her down yourself" face and packed up the diaper bag mid-conversation.  I briefly told a friend that I was done for the night and that I'd see her later.  I made my exit and, lo and behold, she took a few pauses to breathe once we got outside.  She screamed the whole way home then, miraculously and as if on cue, stopped as we pulled into the driveway. 

I learned two things from last night.  First and foremost, I learned that sometimes all you can do is cut your losses and move on.  I would have loved to get over the fuss hump and to have had a happy evening out.  But that plan wasn't working for me last night.  And like so many other things in life, my wanting it to work didn't make the experience go any more smoothly.  I can honestly say that I am living more and more with Romans 8:28 in mind - that God works all things together for good for those that love Him.  It's a good thing too... because I'd be pretty frazzled if progress solely rested on my efforts.  Whether it be to calm my baby or to pay a huge bill, I have the promise of redemption looming ahead of me always. 

The second thing I learned was that there are some things only Papas can make better...  Sometimes the only solution I can come up with is to snuggle in close to my protective and consoling Papa in heaven.  It would make sense then that Grace probably feels the same way about her Papa too.  He's bigger than her, he makes her smile with his silly songs, and he can lead her into good rest like nobody else. What's not to love about that?

And now on to the things I'm thankful for:
  1. The graphic design expertise of www.gracehesterdesigns.etsy.com (photo)
  2.  People that read my blog
  3. Cloth wipes made of soft flannel
  4. Muscle cars that sound mean
  5. When the trees start to bud in the spring
  6. The quaint neighborhood we reside in
  7. People that don't judge
  8. Prayer room webstream
  9. The furniture that someone let us borrow
  10. Heirlooms
  11. Sparkley pens
  12. Revelation brought by reflection
  13. That we get to co-labor with God
  14. Hope
  15. For each new day
  16. My personal testimonies of God's goodness
  17. Adan & Anais swaddlers
  18. Baby slings
  19. Dried fruit in oatmeal
  20. Brown sugar
  21. A diaper bag with loads of pockets custom designed for me
  22. The learning curve
  23. Giggling
  24. Singing made up songs that make Grace smile
  25. Grace

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